The Bench Blog holds an invitation to let the question and topic at hand sink in, slowly, but surely. Take a few moments. Explore the questions. Discover the answers. What do you feel? What do you think, see, hear? What are your next steps?

The picture represents bums (reverse heart shapes) sitting on a bench surrounded by an autumn tree at sunset: the idea is to take a moment to sit down and think about the topic in a mindful, unconditionally loving way. In autumn, the tree lets go of her leaves, preparing for the next seasons. As humans, we need to create autumn moments, allowing ourselves let go of old patterns and habits, to create new positive and helping beliefs. Sunset is that time of the day where magic happens: you slow down, you let go of the day and prepare for the night. You shift to another rhythm, another mode: transforming effortless.

The Bench represents the letter “H”: the How question.

The reverse Heart shapes represent the letter “W’”: What, When, Who questions that allow you to explore, with love. We avoid Why because we don’t want anyone to defend choices they make. We do what we do, to the best of our abilities, with positive intention, always.

Tip: use the bench metaphor as a reminder to explore different points of view, and, other’s positive intentions. Ask the Bum Bench Questions & Allow others the time to process their responses.

Examples:

How was this experience for you? How does this work for you? What do you think the problem is? What is your concern? When was the last time you felt happy? When is the last time this worked for you?Who says you need this? Who could help you?

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Bench Question #06: What Do You Think?

We often ask our colleagues, friends and family what they think.

The next question is: why do you want to know?

Depending on your personality preference, the reasons vary.

Are you relationship focussed?

If you are, you want to make sure that you take everybody's opinions and desires into account before making any final decisions. Everything for everybody's happiness and well-being!

Are you task focussed?

If you are, you want to make sure you get the job done perfectly and immediately actionable. Everything for doing the right thing, right now. Nothing more. Nothing less.

How does this work in team?

Well... size matters! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Studies show that when a team or meeting exceeds 8 attendees, the answers are usually more 'statements of presence' than actual answers to improve the outcome of the topic at hand. People think and/or feel they need to say something due to the fear of being perceived as someone without opinion.

Truth is: some people need some time to think things through and honestly: of those that have nothing to say, those who remain silent are the most efficient ones. For those that speak up right away: remember that these extraverts tend to think out loud when answering a question. That is way it usually takes a while to hear them out. Easy to understand why they come to a certain conclusion though!

Remember that meeting where you asked for your opinion?

Whom did you agree with, who came up with the weird points of view? If you agreed instantly (truly, madly, deeply - not just because he/she is the boss) - it could it be that this is a person that is 'more like you'? You tend to understand and approve 'same' faster. We all love 'the way of least effort'.

Opposites attract though! And that is because unconsciously we know that in order to survive, we need to combine different qualities! So next time you judge: ask yourself why you perceive the situation as it is (why is the answer good or bad). Experience how your (dis)agreement often reflects how you perceive the world. Take the time to investigate how different angels Broaden your map of the world! Expand Horizons! Help you see the bigger picture!

Are you introvert?

If you are, you need some time to answer a question. Ask for that time and make it clear when you will come back later, after your research and thinking process is completed.

Are you an extravert?

If you are, remember to hear other people out before forming your own opinion on the matter. Make sure that what you say is adding value to the team and final decision. Start talking with the end in mind. It is not (always) about you, it is about the final result.

You don't like what you see - hear - feel?

What does this say about you, your values, your experiences, your expectations, your map of the world?

Do you want change to come your way ?

Start changing your ways.

🙏 Namasté 🙏

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Bench Questions #05: When is enough, enough?

Wabi Sabi is the perfection of the imperfection that you find in traditional Japanese aesthetics – but it goes so much further than that.

My life story has been about the search for recognition and inclusion. All I ever wanted was to be ‘wanted’. All I wanted was to be ‘enough’.

When I turned 17 I ran away from home hitch hiking 200 km, crossing the country from one side to the other. Belgium is that small 😂. And during this adventure, all I could think of was ‘nothing worse than what happened to me those last 7 years can happen today’. And I arrived at my destination, safely.

Funny is the duality of the journey. I remember the drivers putting away their wallets and belongings when they pulled over and invited me for the ride. They wanted the same thing: be safe and stay safe.

Ultimately – we all want the same thing: happiness, harmony, abundance, respect, recognition.

The years that followed were years where I tried to prove ‘them wrong’:

2 university degrees to prove I was smart after alla well-paid job with company car to show I was capable of making a good living on my own (and buy cheese and ham for my sandwiches, which was a sign of a good living according to one of my care takers)a nice job title to show I ‘was somebody to be respected’dancing on every table and stage I could find at every party to prove I could dance

But… the recognition from the non-believers remained unchanged. And I learned something very important:

no company, no manager, no job title, no money will ever replace the lack of recognition and inclusion your family and/or caretakers were not able to give youenough is enough only when you accept that enough is enoughif we love ourselves the way we are, we no longer enslave ourselves to the desire to be loved by othersif others still trigger doubts on your best intentions, it usually says more about their truth then it says about ‘the truth’ – the truth is always seen through the eyes of the perceiver, therefore always coloured with personal (sometimes limiting) beliefswe cannot be happy without understanding unhappiness

We are human. We make mistakes. We need this in order to understand right from wrong. We need darkness to see light. We need sickness to understand health. We need pain to understand love. We need opposites to understand harmony.

Therefor: I love myself unconditionally and accept my quirks. I don’t need to be more or less than I am. I am enough.

Bench moment #05

Do you love your imperfections?

If not, find your story, and figure out the lessons of your rock bottom moments, the ones that transformed you and brought you to the next level.

Be grateful.

Be enough.

Wabi Sabi.

🙏 Namasté 🙏

Bench Question #04: What Has Been Your Random Act Of Kindness Today?

What has been your random act of kindness today?

We recently started a family gratitude journal and it is beautiful to see how our kids are slowly starting to appreciate the little things in life that make a difference.

In order to create a life of abundance, we have to maintain the flow of giving and receiving. We have to give love in order to receive, we have to understand before being understood, we have to go with the flow instead of over analysing too much.

If you feel like giving someone a compliment, even a complete stranger, rest assure that their smile is so rewarding and you never know how you impact their lives for the better. They might feel confident enough to take that right next step that they might not have taken otherwise.

Love yourself. This is a beautiful act of kindness as well. Allow your body, mind and spirit to feel the love so you can shine beautifully for those around you that can use a bit of light. You might inspire them in ways you can't imagine.

Don't hold on to fear. Don't hold on to what no longer serves you. A healthy flow means you have to believe that, once your intention is clear, the universe will take care of it. It might ask a bit of patience, but enjoy the time to prepare in the mean time. You never know when the right opportunity presents itself.

Show acts of kindness every day to make a difference. Do it selflessly. And accept the gifts of others: their compliments, their time, their listening ear, their hug, their smile, their gentle touch, their jokes, their laughter, their joy, their happiness... There is enough for everyone. Be open to receive and let it go by passing it on to others.

🙏 Namasté 🙏

BE THE CHANGE

New Moon Energy

New Moon.

New Possibilities.

New Projects.

The perfect occasion to ask for blessings and guidance towards your new endeavours.

New Moon Ritual

Allow yourself some time for stillness when the evening sets in. Go outside to watch the sky and connect with the new moon energy for at least a few moments. Then, find yourself the perfect spot to sit, relax and tune in.

Remind yourself why you are doing this ritual tonight. Have a clear sense of purpose and let it be. There is no good or bad.

Sit comfortably - relax - enjoy the journey.

New moon invocation

New Moon Night

Shadowed Light

Give Me Sight Within

As I Sow

So It Shall Grow

Let What I Seed Begin

If you have a tarot deck, pull a card asking for guidance for your new endeavour. You could ask:

"Divine Spirits Of Abundance, assist me in manifesting my purpose.

Show me what I need to learn. Thank you."

Always thank your guides and spirits for their help. The work hard to pull everything together for us - even if we are not aware.

For this occasion - and for those that don't have cards at home - I pulled this beautiful card below, to set the energy for the ritual. It could not have been more applicable!

HOW TEACHABLE ARE YOU? - by Inna Segal

What are your favourite things to do? Is it good for you and others? Are you willing give something up (watching tv, shopping, etc.) in order to create time to learn something New?

Are you sick and tired of being tired? Anxious? Angry?

Are you willing to apply what you already know will help?

You are the creator of your life and have the response-ability to make your own choices.

Plan to make at least one change in the next 48 hours in some area of your life.

It could be something small like starting a new morning ritual or buying a journal of gratitude to write down your blessings every day.

Then, plan to continue change every day, even if it takes a few minutes. Work towards your desired transformation and make it happen. When you feel resistance, you're half way there. Remind yourself: am I teachable? Can I learn from everyone and everything and apply it for the better? Be the change you want to be!

Namaste. 🙏

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Bench Question #03: When Was Your Last Me-Treat?

In need for some me-time?

Away from the deadlines, the daily chores, the friend requests, the buzzzzzz all around you?

Well – let’s do it: Call for a time-out - go for a me-treat – create some headspace – recharge those physical, mental and spiritual batteries!

Bench Moment #03

Take a pen and a piece of paper – or your diary if you have one.

Make yourself a nice cuppa Golden Latte & enjoy a small piece of yummy Raw Turmeric Chocolate (order 🍫 here 🍵 online).

Turn on some music allowing you to go for a personal journey me-treat (Chocolat Radio is one of my favorites, available in Apple Music).

What are your top 5 favorite things to do? Things that give you joy, happiness, energy. Something that is good (without harming others).

Visualise yourself doing this: what do you see, hear, think and feel?

What does it bring you?

What does it bring others?

What would you need to do make this happen?

Can you create me-treat moments for your top five favorites:

how much time are you willing to create ?when will you do it ?what would you need ?

Enjoy your me-treats!!

Namaste! 🙏

Full moon

The perfect time to celebrate your accomplishments and letting go of what no longer serves you.

Full moon invocation

I am moving forward towards the manifestation of my soul purpose.

I am releasing everything that no longer serves me.

I am embracing my ever-evolving journey.

Full moon ritual

Allow yourself half an hour of me-time when the evening sets in. Go outside and connect with the full moon energy.

Pick your favourite feel good song or create a full moon / feel good playlist (here is one I prepared for you in iTunes/AppleMusic: click here) - turn on the volume - 💃 dance 💃 like no one else is watching. Follow your rhythm. Follow your intuition. Allow your goddess energy to take the lead. Breathe in the good prana and life energy. Celebrate the goodness. Breathe out what no longer serves you. Let it go.

When the stillness sets in: just breathe and tune it with your body and the full moon energy.

What did your movements tell you?

What was easy or abundant and what part of your life is equally good? Celebrate these parts of your life that show abundance: time spend in the kitchen enjoying the preparations of a good meal, a clean house, great projects at work, love for your partner, cuddles with the kids, time to make that fantastic journey, etc. 🙏 Be grateful for what is already there. 🙏

What was uncomfortable or hard and how can you relate this to your daily life? What is it you have to let go in order for you to make it easier to take your next step.

Fear? - Guilt? - Anger? - Sadness? - ...?

😞 😔 😟 😠 😧

Let it go and replace it with

love, hope and faith

❤️ 🤞 🙏

there is enough for everyone

all is there

you are entitled to your share

Enjoy the full moon !

Namasté 🙏

WORKSHOP

Remember to sign up for our

Full Moon Circle

July 23rd * 8pm-9.30pm * Brighton East

We'll be designing our Wheel of Life Mood Board

helping you fulfil your life/soul purpose!!

More info and bookings:

New Moon Energy

New moon.

New possibilities.

New projects.

The perfect occasion to ask for guidance for the manifestation of your true desires, both short and long term.

New Moon Ritual

Allow yourself one hour of stillness when the evening sets in. Go outside to watch the sky and connect with the new moon energy for at least a few moments. Then, find yourself the perfect spot to sit, relax and tune in.

Start with a simple 5-minute breathing exercise: tune into your rhythm - breathe in - breathe out. Notice the sounds around you and let it be. Notice what goes on in your body and let it be. Notice the sound of your heartbeat and let it be. Notice the beauty of stillness, even if you have music playing.

New moon invocation

Take a pen and complete your

G-WAVE

GOAL

Set your goal and intention

What are your desires, dreams hopes for the next few weeks?

I want… I wish… I hope…

Once you completed this exercise:

Let it sink in and feel what it does with you.Sit back and relax.Give the universe the time to prepare synchronistic events and support for you.Follow the signs showing you the right next steps. Enjoy the journey.

Thank yourself for having taken this time.

Thank your spiritual helpers.

Namasté. 🙏

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Bench Question #02: What Is Your Right Next Step?

Today is the longest night for some, the longest day for others. It is that turning point of the year that offers a moment of reflection: how will you spend it? Could you make it a turning point for yourself?

Seasons teach us something important: there is a time to bloom and a time to rest. A time to celebrate in abundance and a time to prepare for your next steps. What is your right next step?

Life is not defined by just one moment, but covers all the moments together. You are not defined by just one action, but by everything you do, say, think and feel. All matters: your actions, your words, your choices, your desires.

Allow yourself to take one step at a time and rest assure, that once your purpose is clear, everything will guide you there.

Bench Moment #02

Find yourself a few minutes today and think about your purpose and how to manifest purpose in all its facets: parent, friend, professional, neighbour, colleague, child, etc.

Tune in and make it clear in your head, body, spirit. It has to feel right. Your mind has no boundaries. Everything is possible. Connect with your true self and true desires.

Then ask yourself: what is my next right step. No effort. Let it come to you.

Allow yourself the 🎁 of stillness an a daily basis, so you can continue taking the right next steps to the manifestation of your true desires.

I wish you in sync with the universe and remember to take yourself not too seriously: if you are lucky enough to have a partner and you feel the right next step has to be manifested in the bedroom, then tonight offers the perfect occasion: 👠 or 👣 - all is good - 😍.

Namaste 🙏

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Bench Question #01: How Are You

It is a simple question that (Ozzies in particular 😊) often ask. The question holds 2invitations: one to answer& one to listen. And honestly… How often do we allow ourselves to do either one of them?

Are you gratefully accepting the good parts life offers?

Are you gracefully dealing with the obstacles?

BENCH MOMENT #01

Picture yourself in an ideal situation on how you want to be and define next steps to get there:

PhysicallyMentally Professionally Emotionally Spiritually Financially Relationally

The more specific you set your mind on a desired outcome, the easier it is for the universe to help you get there. Although… it is important to let go of the result. Everything will come to you when you are ready. Allow the obstacles to be what they are: an opportunity to learn and rise above that. Make time to sit still and listen.

I wish you in sync with the universe and remember to take yourself not too seriously: 🐨 How Ya Goin - Ozzy Style 🐨

Namasté. 🙏

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